Patty Ellis – Page 7 – Golfer Tales

The REAL Rules of Golf

Forget the Rules of Golf, the following are all you need to know:

The YOOL rule: You’re Out Of Luck! This one rule covers almost everything that can happen to you on the golf course. On a rock? YOOL Rule. Behind a tree? YOOL Rule. Great shot that’s headed for the green but a lawnmower guy comes out of nowhere and deflects it into a bunker…. YOOL!

Lost Tee Shot Rule: When looking for someone’s lost tee shot, always look 30 yards behind where they’re looking. Most (if not all) golfers think they’ve hit their drive just about 30 yards farther than they actually have. Note: I’m no hypocrite, I’ve heard “Hey, Patty, you’re ball’s back here” more than once.

Water Hazard Rule: Use old balls when hitting over water hazards. I know, I know, teaching pros say never to do this – always […]

The REAL Rules of GolfPatty Ellis2019-04-28T15:51:09-04:00

Getting the Most Out of Your Clubs

I was playing Dyker Beach (the course’s name is just a coincidence) with my dear friends, Deb and Mary.

On the 9^th hole Deb crushed a drive. I MEAN CRUSHED IT! It was the purest drive I’d ever seen her hit, 230 yards with a perfect draw. You could see the pride on her face – and I was happy for her.

But then there’s that thing called the second shot.

With a 3-wood in hand, Deb lined up, wiggled her hips and swung really, really hard. The clubhead hit the ground 3 inches behind the ball. The ball rolled 10 yards. The divot flew 15.

Her frustration was palpable. She tried to breathe, but Mary and I could see she was going to blow…. and she did. Like an ancient Greek discus hurler, she made a complete circle with her body, arms outstretched, […]

Getting the Most Out of Your ClubsPatty Ellis2025-05-29T12:32:59-04:00

Karmic Footprint

Carol is a Fluffer. No, not that kind of Fluffer (dirty minds)! She fluffs her shots on the golf course. When she’s in the rough or a footprint in a bunker (and thinks no one is looking) she puts her club behind her ball, then with a little flick, rolls the ball, fluffing it up onto a better lie.

I caught her dead to rights once. After she fluffed, she realized I was standing right there looking at her. She tried to defend herself — “I really want to make par here and the ball was buried.” I replied, “Why don’t you just pick it up and put it in the hole for a birdie?”

My sarcasm had no effect, but then one day, because the universe demands it, Karma struck Carol. In a huge match which was all square (tied) on the […]

Karmic FootprintPatty Ellis2025-05-29T12:33:17-04:00

Sports Can Be Really Tough

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m a Jordan Spieth fan. I only needed to hear one interview of him after the Masters to start rooting for him because he has the three things I like most in professional athletes (and people): emotional maturity, graciousness, and humility. I’m not saying I have those attributes – au contraire! But I really respect them in others.

And his humility seems to be real. An interviewer recently asked him to talk about how he became so humble. He said, if I talk about being humble, that’s not so humble. Now that’s humble!

But even though I was rooting for Jordan to win, I just couldn’t root for Dustin Johnson to lose. I try not to root against anyone – it’s just […]

Sports Can Be Really ToughPatty Ellis2019-04-28T16:54:57-04:00

Carolina Basketball and Golf

How does a New York Institute of Technology graduate become a North Carolina Tar Heel? She marries one.

If you know Rebecca (or read my The Golfer’s Perfect Spouse blog) you know she’s the most un-athletic person in the world. I’m not convinced Rebecca even knows the names of sports because she only ever refers to golf as “little white ball”, football as “pointy ball” and my favorite, “fuzzy ball” (tennis).

So you can imagine my surprise when shortly into our relationship she said “Carolina is playing tonight, let’s watch the game”. What? As it turns out, even the most un-athletic person in the world loves her alma mater so much she’ll watch “big orange ball.”

And so began my Tar Heel love affair, which brings me to golf. One doesn’t think of basketball as being a gentlemen’s game, but […]

Carolina Basketball and GolfPatty Ellis2019-04-28T15:11:51-04:00