I’ve never seen any of The Real Housewives shows and now I know why – I don’t have to. I get all the drama, gossip and cattiness I need just listening to PGA Radio.

Ryder Cup Captain Steve Stricker didn’t call Billy Horschel. Billy was “gutted.” In fact, after he won the following week’s tournament, he said he did so because he was “ticked” that Steve never called him and that not getting a call “put a fire in my butt.” Ouch, that must have hurt.

I can relate. When I was in high school, I wanted James to ask me to the prom. I even told his sister Susan to tell his friend Johnnie to tell James that I wanted to go to the prom with him. But he never called. I, too, was gutted. Although I don’t remember having anything ignited in my derriere.

Photos: Golf Channel & CBS Sports

And the news of Brooks Koepka and Bryson DeChambeau breaking up is just so upsetting. Relationships are hard. Brooks got mad at Bryson for playing slowly. Bryson got mad at Brooks for not saying that to his face. So, Brooks said something to Bryson’s face (exactly what, we’ll never know). There was a brief lull in the feud but then Brooks showed the world his nakedness in a Sports Illustrated piece and Bryson just had to make a comment that Brooks didn’t have any abs.

It came down to ridiculing body parts? Thank goodness we only saw Brooks’ tuchie and not his…

Then the unspeakable happened. Bryson walked behind Brooks while Brooks was giving an interview. What?????????? Apparently, the sound of Bryson’s golf shoes on pavement was just too much for Brooks to bear.  Now Brooks doesn’t want to play with Bryson in the Ryder Cup.  For my non-golfer subscribers, just making sure you know … they’re on the same team!!

Photo: USA Today

Which brings me to “Captain America” Patrick Reed, who was also shunned for this year’s Ryder Cup. Hey, maybe I have the wrong show. Instead of Captain Stricker calling or not calling, he should just give the players he chooses a rose! But I digress.

Stricker says he didn’t choose Reed because of Reed’s recent health issues. But I’m just wondering, could it have been more about Reed’s behavior at the 2019 Ryder Cup? After he wasn’t paired with Jordan Spieth, Reed threw a, well, Housewives hissy fit. “The issue’s obviously with Jordan not wanting to play with me. I don’t have any issue with Jordan. When it comes right down to it, I don’t care if I like the person I’m paired with or if the person likes me…”

Who wouldn’t want that on their team?

Finally, allow me to offer two links for your enjoyment. When I was telling my sister about this piece she said “Patty, I have three words: Flip the Table.”  Yup, it’s a Real Housewives of New Jersey clip that pretty much sums this all up.

And here’s Brooks Koepka’s Tuchie if you’re into that kind of thing.