Remember Patty Duke?  She starred as the bubbly, fun, zany Patty Lane on The Patty Duke show.  She also starred as Neely O’Hara, the overdosing drug addict in The Valley of the Dolls.

That’s me on the golf course.

Sometimes I look like I can play this game.  I’m not a great player, but I’ve had some success and it’s clear I’ve played before.

But then the overdosing drug addict shows up – unwelcomed, uninvited and, well, high on something – and takes over my golf game.  She can’t hold a club, her takeaway is bad, she has no follow-through, and she can’t chip or putt.  I hate her!

And she doesn’t just show up between rounds, sometimes she takes over in the middle of a round!  “Patty” had one round going where I was 2 over par after 9 holes.   I’m thinking I can break 80 today.  But noooooooooooo, Neely shows up at the halfway house and goes 12 over on the next 9 holes.

How’d she even get out to the halfway house?   I knew I should’ve skipped that hotdog.

Why don’t you see a pro, Patty?  And tell the pro what – “we” have a problem?